Dear People of Simcoe County

Writing my memoir continues to take most of my time these days,  how fun to remember all
the people and all the love that has seem me through.   Thanks for the extra support you have been sending, the songs are great inspiration!
Today I also wrote a letter to the enterprise bulletin,  which I shared on facebook and I share it here with you my loving, supportive community!

Dear People of Simcoe County, 

I have come to love this land and its people, over the past eight years that I have lived here.  It was closeness of the water,  the beauty of the land and the options for biking and hiking that brought me to this area. 

This week I am feeling anxious, I have a daughter who lives in the United States,  I have a daughter who has black skin,  I have a daughter who  has a beautiful son with her female partner,  I have friends who…the list is long.  I am worried about a Trump presidency.  I am sad when I hear about grandsons coming home from school sick because they are worried about their and their friends’ safety. 

This week I read that Kellie Leitch, my federal member of parliament, who is running for the leadership of the Conservative Party,  said she hailed Trumps election win as an exciting message that needs to be delivered to Canada as well.

I am asking you, my conservative friends, I am asking you my liberal friends, I am asking you my friends of no particular political leaning or interest to not be complacent. 

Lets us speak and act in ways that promote open heartedness, loving kindness and gratitude for the many privileges that are afforded to us in this great country.  Let us give thanks for the immigrants, including our ancestors who came to give us more opportunity.  Let us acknowledge our role in the suffering of indigenous peoples.   Let us truly live a life that recognizes there is enough for all, and let our actions speak this truth too.   Let us give thanks for the diversity that strengthens our world in so many more ways than food!  

May we breathe, may we notice, may we defeat fear acts of love!

gloria kropf nafziger

What I forgot

what I forgot in writing my memoir

my story is longer at sixty one than it was a twenty one
there are some details that need to be shared in order
to make sense of the details
memory is not certain or specific or perhaps
even accurate
what is believed to be accurate for one
may not be accurate for another
truth telling is scary
changing the story is hard work
details, always, don't matter sometimes
life is dynamic, changing
an imperfect reflection
all people carry with them fear
and sorrow, love
and anger, pain
and joy
even a story of love carries
unpleasantries
there are many ways to tell a story
support comes in different ways,
loneliness is part of connection
disappointment often goes with dreams
sometimes it doesn't
dreams surround us, if we just
take the time to remember
anger expressed has more healing power
then anger repressed
sorrow surrounds joy
new life comes out of death
stories, all stories,
are worth listening too
sixty one is old and young
all at the same time
community is built by taking risks
and letting another see in
that a ticking clock is sometimes very loud,
sometimes quiet.  sometimes fast, and sometimes
slow,  and none of it perhaps has anything to do with time
and everything to do with being
that I love writing, I love blocks of time to write in
I am free when my pen and my fingers are moving

gkn Nov. 2016

Nanowrimo

I have done it, signed up, committed to

writing 50,000 words in November.  I have 

joined a world wide community of writers, encouraging 

one another's creative efforts. I am excited, 

I am hopeful

that this will kick start me over the fear that writing my memoir 

inspires.

  Josephine is happy to wait,  she continues to join me in writing

and it is my memoir I will be writing 50,000 words of, 

in November 

the real reason for this post,

 to ask you my readers for additional support in this

writing marathon,

Please   send me your support in what ever way works best for you,  I will

receive it all with gratitude.

I look forward to sharing this 

Another improbable dream become probable  with each one of you! 

Gkn October it's almost time to start 23, 2016

A Day Later

Stove burners tell the tale 

a pot too full.  

freezers collection replenished,

turkey stock in yogurt containers 

labelled black 

marker on masking tape.  

Memories of a day to be shared 

with months unknown. 

gkn October 2016

October

Soon it will be Thanksgiving.  

 My brothers and their wives, my father, many of my nieces and nephews and my great nieces and nephews will come to Collingwood.  

We will gather in the backyard, we hope the weather allows us to eat in the backyard, often it does.  

 

My mother will not be here. 

 

My mother never saw my home in Collingwood.  

 

My mother died too many years ago. 

 

I miss her and I remember that rushed ride to the hospital, my brother said “ you better hurry or you will not see her alive.”   At least that is what I think he said.

 

I was confused.  I was upset.  I was shocked.  I was disbelieving in my believing.  

 

Two days earlier she had said I might not be here next year,two days before that she said,  something is wrong.   I told her to be positive to trust the doctor who said everything was alright.  I told her not to worry so much, not to be so negative. 

 

I did not call her on Monday, I thought of her on Monday.  I had seen her on Sunday.  I had talked to her on Friday, on Saturday.   

 

I did not think she would die on Tuesday.  I did not think I would hold her hand and say, it is ok, you were a good mother, you did a good job,  I did not think I would say it and mean it, so that she could take her last breath in peace.  

 

She was a good mother. 

I know she heard me.  

She believed me.  

 

She has told me so many times, since that day in October.  

 

She has told me to live my life, just to live it, 

she has told me not to be afraid of what other people say. 

 

She says that she is sorry that she was so afraid when she walked with me, sometimes holding my hand. 

 

She smiles at me, is happy for my happiness, for my ability to be (sometimes I do not worry what other people think or say about me.)  

 

She says it will all turn out and she seems to know it will. 

I miss her hand in mine, her voice on the phone, her smile, her tears, her frown…

 

It is October, soon it will be All Saints day.  

 

We will have an ancestor’s meal (celebrating and remembering her and others) as we have a baby dedication for August Hann her newest great grandson. 

 

We will celebrate his life on the anniversary of her death.  

We will celebrate Auggie’s spiritual earth journey. 

 

He will feel her presence with him, cheering him on, reminding him to be   August. 

 

I miss her! 

 

 

 gkn October 2016

 

Saturday Night

Drizzling rain surrounded me today, 

was a companion at market, 

in our search 

for an early morning bagel shop

 ( not yet 2 year old Leo's request)

followed us home,

in the car  it became

fog, so dense 

we hid behind the big white 

truck, with a big load,  

straining to see. 

gkn October 1, 2016

Happy Birthday to Zeb

Kaitlyn and Luke were at our house 

when the news arrived,  a baby, 

I napped between the texts,  excitment 

fighting concussion. 

Now,  I ride the bus, 

delighted to be able to celebrate, 

to join in,   a party with four 

proud fingers in the air. 

This mornings picture shows 

him dressed as a firefighter,  the other 

day it was a pink flamingo and 

tomorrow...I wait eagerly. 

We marched together at pride,

 come, please, his momma said, 

three generations together,  he said, 

I want the t- shirt with my family on it. 

His smile embraces me,  twinkling eyes 

shining with possibility,  as he shares 

the stories of his workers,  the coffee 

shop,  a home. 

Living with the knowledge of life's fragility, 

always present,  when reminded of his birth, 

gratitude surrounds me,  to love and be loved, 

an open gift from Zebbie to Gg 

returned. 

gkn Sept. 22 2016