Sandwich Gifts

The morning started out with peanut butter and jam.
"What kind is it GG, what kind of jam?"  Nectarine.  "Do we have nectarine" he asked?
Maybe... "I like it,  I like nectarine."
"I do not like honey."
Last week he jumped up and down in delight telling me about honey and that he loved it!

We get in the car,  "I do not want to go see great grandpa Lorne," he says.
Sometimes we do things we do not want to, we both agree.
We will go see great grandpa Lorne.
Then we will go home to mama and daddy's house.  

Great Grandpa Lorne invites him to give him a kiss on his hand,
as he sleepily opens his eyes to acknowledge our arrival.
 Leo wants to make the bed move, he knows which buttons to push.
Not today, I say great grandpa is too tired today.

We play with cars,  Lightning McQueen and his friends, race around the hospice room.
I move back and forth between the cars and the sometimes open eyes of my father.  

Then he is awake and he notices his hunger.
 He asks for beef stew, Leo races to the kitchen to help order it.  
His two year old hands help me feed great grandpa.

It is time to leave, to go to mama and daddy's house.

 I do not want to go to mama and daddy's house.
He wants to play with Lightning McQueen and my brothers, his great uncles,
whom he is coming to know in our visits here.

Sometimes we do things we do not want to do, we both agree.



gkn
Feb. 2017

There is Time

In the midst of the grief, there is time
for dancing,  for laughing,  for hugs.

In the midst of the anger, there is time
for hope, for celebration, for love.

In the midst of the confusion, there is time
for solidarity, for clarity, for friendship.

In the midst of the weariness, there is time
for sudoku, or colouring or crosswords with  sweet breads and tea.

In the midst of the despair, there is time
for gatherings, with stories retold, remembering.

In the midst of the fear, there is time
for community, for growing connection with love.

In the midst of life, there is time,
there is always time for living, for being, for creating,
for offerings,  for being
your own wonderful and unique gift to the world.

There is time.

gkn January 2017 

Infections

Crowding the planet, 

human and plant cells,

playing games, life and death, 

uncertainty...

steal hope, offer confusion, despair,

sometimes comfort still,

quiet companioing

at a bedside,  on a website, 

with a protest sign...

confusion, best answers, sought, 

breathe in, and out, 

snow falls white fluffy wonder, 

a two year old's delight, 

reminds me again...

solutions oft unrecognized, present 

they come, they go, 

new stories born from old, 

re found amidst ice 

melting refrozen...

this little light of mine, glory comes.

gkn Jan 2017

Dad: Ice Cream and Chocolate Milk

Chocolates  fill your room, and
disappear too, as we wait, for you to
join mom on the other side.

You ask weakly for a drink, not water
your voice gets stronger, by the end of
the visit you are drinking chocolate milk.

Mom fills your room, as you
disappear into other worlds on your way,
we prepare for our final goodbye.

We feed you soup, you eat your own ice cream
or butter tart, with raisins you instruct,
we are unprepared.

Yesterday we found you unresponsive, sleeping,
we check for breathe, yours and
ours are shallow now.

Today you laugh, with great grandchildren,
as they tell stories, and you tell them
yours, delight fills the room.

We eat fresh baked goods, your sweet tooth
inherited by all,  drink tea and coffee,
we prepare
impossibly.

gkn Jan. 15 2017

The Buzz

Still in pajamas,  tea in hand,
phone call finished,  your invitation arrives
 i will join you for tea
i run to pull on clothes, to walk to
you, when a car pulls up,
a ride is offered,  i pull the granola
out of the oven, hop in the car
surprise you, still reading fliers on the
bulletin board.

 unexpected

we are at the counter ordering,
when he walks in,  it has been so long,
we fall into one another's arm,
the table for three heart sharing
goes on,  i rarely come here
he says and you and i echo the
words.

gkn Jan. 10, 2017

Now

Changing life, times

hope born anew,

a page turns again.

Breathe in, breathe

love, for all, 

a page turns..

gkn dec.2016

Dad

 between worlds with you, 

perhaps we have spent our whole life 

here, you and I,  in worlds separated

by a veil too thin almost to notice, 

yet thick enough to separate, perhaps

today again we will see more

revealed in the passage opening, 

you me and I you. 

My grandpa, your dad, joined us

here today, you saw him,  I heard your 

anxious voice respond, put away the cream, 

the separated cream, I should have known 

remember the separator, my fascination, 

your childhood labours demand.

Our voices clear in veils of certainty revealed

I love you, spoken truths of souls familiarity

connected in worlds un noticed, in 

Our running, racing worlds seen here

in quiet space of rest, I rub your feet, you 

agree the back rubbed would be nice too

You and I in found comfort, 

lately found, and timely .

gkn 2017