Dysania

another 

black human 

dead

change

required 

to burnish

hope

another 

black human 

dead

change

required 

to burnish

hope

another            

                  change?

gloria fern May 2020

 

Safety ?

bees cover the current bush

orange, yellow, blue
red, prayer flags
shredded

birds dance

dog poop
everywhere, I think
stubbed toes, sour dough that did
not rise today,  soup too salty,
or sweet
or not

mud covered they do not
run towards me but laugh
threateningly
six feet away from a
hug

there will be no
mud on me

I am
safe

and now there
is rain
my heart feels it

all

feels it all.

gloria fern May 2020

Teeter Totter

hearts in windows, flowers on tables
still blooming to those who mother,
and grandmother with gratitude and love,
wind on the backs, of the littles who know
how to maintain distance connection
without contradiction

my sister in law graduated yesterday,
photos sent in time and space,
a grandson's graduation ceremony
will be on Wednesday, we will be able
to attend without eight hours of travel,
oh bitter joy

 "hope is the expectation of future joy"
the sign in the window on this day
of May showers drizzling down on me,
on our dog, on the freshly planted
seedlings smiling from their
squirrel turned soil.

gloria fern May 18 2020

No Zoom Today

Giddy excitement filled me

as I prepared for

six or seven or eight feet apart 

art shared with elaborate story

six or seven or eight feet apart

smell the bottoms of the fritalaria

six or seven or eight feet apart

children  kneel in the ground

six  or seven or eight feet apart

smelling skunks in plants,

six or seven or eight feet apart

examine seeds, and create mud puddles,

six or seven or eight feet apart

games (newly acquired)  shown and explained, 

six or seven or eight feet apart

watch the agility of climbers

six or seven or eight feet apart

the swing, the slide to slide to slide race

six or seven or eight feet apart

climbing hills, laughing,

six or seven or eight feet apart

your and

          your and

               your presence.

 felt            held.

gloria fern May 15, 2020

The First Day

with thanks to Mary Oliver

after your arrival
I jumped up and down
I clapped my hands,
I stared into space.

I walked toward the first warm sting of possibility

in those days I was hungry for emptiness,
go ahead tell me I was both silly and serious
as my stomach groaned for the
improbable possibility of days
without demand or calendars

on the first day in spite of
national, international news
I heard only the music from balconies,
the violinists, the soloists,
the gratitude from empty streets

my imagination did not stretch
like the birds in flight overhead
its range did not enter my heart now emptied
of curly cuddles,  it could not extend to
the frozen soil of my longing

after your arrival
I jumped up and down, 
I clapped my hands, 
I stared into space. 

gloria fern May 11, 2020

Full Moon

Bright red tulips
trillium buds arrival,
238 days left
in this year,
snowflakes
the size of pancakes,
fall amidst
candles lit,  reused wax
reforming hope

gloria fern May 8, 2020

On Privilege

I am calling for help!   I would like to hear from you.    I am feeling lots of different feelings in these days of Covid,   I am sure I am not different from the rest of you in that!!  

I am longing for my dear grandchildren, children and friends,  I am grateful for  Zoom and other technological methods of connection, and quite frankly I am tired of them.    

I am grateful for our beautiful backyard, for the floral labyrinth that we have been creating since we moved into this beautiful home on Georgian Bay.     We may never have been quite as prepared for the planting season as this year.  We have seedlings  ( with seeds nurtured and harvested by our neighbourt) nestled on the porch, along with pansies ( from the local gardening centre) which we were able to purchase and pick up, in a no contact sort of way.

We have been eating, sharing and enjoying sour dough bread,  pancakes, waffles, pizza and todays new adventure naan.  I have just finished baking a coconut cream pie and placing four pie shells in our abundantly filled freezer.    We have yeast, sugar, flour, milk, eggs, fresh salad greens,   Some of those items come, delivered to our door by the local farmers.    I give thanks for the farmers.  

We have a neighbourhood, that gathers from a distance to show support for front line workers every night at 7:30 and then we can stand on the street ( there is little traffic)  and visit or at least yell greeting to check in on the health of one another.   

We live in a small town that has had nine people test positive for Covid 19.   Two have been from out of town,  one person from a town near to us has died  as a result of Covid 19.  Two people have been hospitalized and returned home.    We have had no outbreaks in long term care,  please God let this remain so!

I am not afraid.     I  have great privilege,  just by virtue of  my birth place, my skin colour, my ability and my class.     There are many in this town, and this country who do not have my privilege.  

Some do not have backyards, some do not have cars, some do not have access to fresh or even stale food,  some do not have an address.  

I am struggling with the choices that are available to me in my privilege.     I do not need to wear a mask most of the time,  as it is not hard for me to keep a six foot distance when I go out doors.  

I would like to have a conversation with you all,  I would like you to have a conversation with your friends, your neighbours, your family  about what our responsibility is to the world, macro and micro from our places of privilege.     

gloriafern May 2020

Sunday

chickadees dance in tree tops, 

branches bud filled, 

daffodils fill ditches, 

swans on nests,  egrets 

wait wait for the moment,

like the fisherpeople denied their 

deeply eroded rod holders,

our garden waits for seedlings, 

warming on protected porch floor,

killdeers call,  haunting,  

childhood returns to me,  

the turned fields of spring, the 

calves found next to mamas, 

baby chicks gaining feathers, 

the feeder outside my kitchen 

window         sways 

gloria fern May 3 2020