Illusions?

It struck me as yesterday I walked amid wild flowers and elk,  as I admired hill tops and ocean shores,  that my life could not be better.  Even if I had made different choices.  It would not be better, it would be different. 

 It struck me that my life was good,  not because I had done anything right,  or wrong.  I have been one of the lucky ones,  who had privilege and opportunity, to make choices, to live dreams.  

My judgements, my if only (ies), my beliefs, indeed my  choices would not have the power to make my life better...they would, potentially make it different.  My notions of better are an illusion.  An illusion I use to dismiss the delights and challenges of the life I am living.  An illusion I use to  harm myself and sometimes others. 

Today as I climbed the dipsea trail down, down, down the stairs I thought about the climb up, with excitment at counting all those stairs and dread at the sore muscles.   Then Alex said she would pick me up.  We ate gelato that tasted like fresh mint.  We hiked to the ocean and were washed by wind and ocean spray. 

I am blessed! 

gkn April 14, 2015 

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