Monday, October 23, 2017

Wrinkles Meaning

We were in the change room at the pool when we met,  we had not seen one another for some time.   "How are you?" she asked.

 " I feel like,"  I said, " I am living a dream."  " I have known struggle"...  "and it is not now."

 I spend some time each week with my children and grandchildren.  I am grateful that one of them lives close enough for me to make weekly treks.  I am grateful that others live close enough for travel and welcome my visits.  My grandchildren and my children inspire me with their wisdom and openness to growth and becoming.

Two weeks ago a precious grandchild asked, "why?"  " why gg do you have those?"
He clarified my confusion by telling me he was asking about lines on my face.
Why indeed do I have lines on my face.
I assured him it was because I have lived a long time.
This was for him a satisfactory answer.

How blessed I am to have lived a long time.
It is over twenty years since I sprinkled the ashes of my beloved Bonnie.
 Last weekend I got together with dear friends whom I am fortunate enough to still see on occasion ( we counted 49 grandchildren among us).
We all of us gathered, all nine of us, have had the privilege of living longer than Bonnie ( and Gord Downie).

I have lived long enough to have lines on face, to have a daughter who will, in less than a year turn fourty,  a daughter with whom I am beginning to dream, about possible mother daughter celebrations.
I continue to live with two of the most supportive people on the planet,  and most of the time I appreciate their support and all of the time, I am grateful for their love and acceptance.

I no longer struggle with the churches acceptance of me, and yet I am pained by the behaviour of an institution, a community that gave me so much and continues to cause so much pain for so many, including my children.

I continue to be blessed by sacred presence in my life.

I am able to see the divine not only the many weird and wonderful people I share the planet with,  but also  on a daily basis in my backyard labyrinth, shade and vegetable gardens, growing trees,  Georgian Bay and the glorious Bruce trail.  

I live in a time where,  I can connect with friends  around the planet.   I can share dinner and stories with my 96 year old aunt, stories about hearing the first airplane with fear, and about her Thanksgiving dinner that included kith and kin with backgrounds unimagined by my grandmother.
 I get to visit places that my aunt revels in hearing about and never dreams of seeing.

".... and you" I asked my locker room companion," how are you?"

" just entering one of those struggle times,"  she shared honestly.

 I  sit at a computer and write words, string together sentences, call them what I will and share them with you.  Sometimes I even hear back from some of you,  always I hope that my words inspire, challenge and invite you to be a little more of the wonderful being you are.

These words are for her and for you,
May peace be yours.

gkn October 2017

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